Monday, December 19, 2011

My Biggest Fear! :(


My biggest fear is..... Guess. Can't guess? My biggest fear is speaking in front of people. I don't know if that is a phobia, but if it is, then I have a phobia. For example, today in Social Studies, I had todo my report. I hated it! I was so nervous that my hands started shaking. It was that bad. Also, I think that I might have started seating. Maddie brought treats and I couldn't eat it because I felt like I was going to throw up. Literally, I took one bite and I almost puked it back up! My friends kept asking me if I was ok, because I looked like I was about to cry. I thought that I was going to. I felt the tears coming to my eyes, and I also felt a lump in my throat. I don't know why, but it just makes me nervous. I also think that my face got really red. During my speech, I had trouble breathing, I was short of breath. Sometimes, during the sentence I was reading, My voice would get really high and squeak. My heart was pounding really hard. I really hate talking in front of people. I think that the real reason is because I think that I will mess up, or get it wrong. I just really hate it! I never want to talk in front of a large group of people again! Ever! You may think that I am exaggerating, but I am not. Every time we do a group activity, I pray that I am never called on. I avoid the teacher's eye contact so that they don't pick on me. I hate when I mess up in front of people. I also don't like doing book talks with Mrs. Ihde. I don't like it, because I don't like talking to the teacher one on one. I am very nervous when that happens. My heart starts pounding. I tell myself to relax, but I just can't. After my social studies speech, my friends kept asking if I was ok. I said I was, because I was, but then they put their hand to my fore head and they said woah, your forehead is hot! Please never have me go up in front of anyone. I really hate it when I fell like that.

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